Being a parent is no joke. There are things that books could never even warn you about, because then no one would do it. For the past few years I’ve been keeping track of the things that Evan says (and soon Porter as well), but I thought it would be fun to do a little recap of the crazy things that I have said. Things I never would have guessed would ever come out of my mouth…Enjoy!
Don’t eat out of the trashcan.
Don’t drink the dog’s water.
Get your hands OUT of your pants.
We don’t pull our peepees out at the table.
We have to have pants on when people come over.
Can you please PLEASE PLEASE put some poop in the potty?
That was SUCH a good poopoo! I’m SO proud of you!
We don’t put toys on our peepees.
Toilet paper is not food.
Play-doh is not food.
Rocks are not food.
No. No. No. No. No. NO.
You can’t ride the dog.
Is that mud or poop?
Is that water or pee?
Don’t drink the bathwater.
We don’t put our hands in the toilet.
Don’t throw your underwear on the roof!
Don’t toot on your brother.
No, knives are not toys!!
Don’t put marbles in your underwear.
Did you poopoo today?
Don’t lick the shopping cart.
Don’t put boogers in your mouth!
Medicine is not candy (if you follow me in Instagram or Facebook you know this story).
I’m sure there are millions of other RIDICULOUS things that have come out of my mouth. What are some of your funniest parent quotes? Share them in the comments!