Happy Monday mamas! I hope your weekend was filled with fun and early bedtimes.
Ok, let’s get right to it. Who doesn’t love Jimmy Fallon? I mean, seriously, he is hysterical and adorable. I have spent way too many nights scrolling through youtube clips from his show and cry-laughing. And he’s my husband’s celeb doppleganger so I feel even more love towards him because of that 😉
Pretty much the same person.
Jimmy (we are totally on a first name basis) likes to do a series of “thank you notes” on his show occasionally. Have you seen them?? SO FUNNY. Jen Hatmaker also had a series of hysterrrrrical thank you notes in her book For the Love (have you picked up on my Jen Hatmaker love yet? If you don’t love her I don’t even understand you).
So with that as my inspiration, I give you…
Dear Dyson vacuum cleaner,
Thank you for being powerful enough to clean up roughly 1 million pieces of crushed goldfish crackers, while also being loud enough to drown out the sound of my kids whining and saying “mommy! mommy!” 100 times in a row. Bless you. Keep up the good work. And please don’t try to come up with a “quiet” model. I see how some may think that’s a great idea, but we appreciate the noise.
Dear yoga pants,
Thank you for being a somewhat socially acceptable version of pajamas I can wear in public. You feel like wearing a cloud and make me look sporty, like I just hit the gym or I’m on my way there. When in fact I just changed out of my polka dot PJ pants and into you so I could hit up the carpool line and the grocery store without being too ashamed of myself. You give me some dignity to hold onto without totally letting myself go and ending up on “people of walmart”. I salute you.
It would be wrong of me to forget you after I just acknowledged your pant counterpart. So thank you for being just the right amount of cozy and baggy where I can throw you over the shirt I slept in and no one is the wiser. Who needs a bra when you have a sweatshirt? You complete me.
Dear frozen chicken nuggets,
Thank you for making me feel like I’m doing the right thing by giving my kids a nice serving of protein without actually having to cook. I will choose to not look too closely at you in fear that you resemble a McDonald’s nugget more than a Chick-fil-a nugget (cause there’s a major difference there, amiright?). I will plate you and microwave you for 1 minute and hope for the best.
Sincerely, a mom who does not have the emotional willpower to cook lunch AND supper
Thank you for allowing me to get anything done in life ever when my children are home. And thank you for allowing me to simultaneously stream to my TV and my phone, so I can happily sit next to my kids on the couch and block out the sounds of Jake and The Neverland Pirates while secretly bingeing Gilmore Girls season 4. Thank you, too, ear phones. You 2 make a great team.
Dear dark chocolate,
There really aren’t enough words. Same for you red wine. You da best.
And I would be remiss if I didn’t include this AMAZING thank you note that my friend Kyndal wrote a few weeks after baby #3 was born.
Thank you, Enfamil Gentlease, for helping my newborn not scream for 2 hours two nights in a row despite the fact that he has life made. Thank you for helping him pass gas with ease and not feel like his ass will explode. Thank you for helping him sleep like the angel he is and not make me want to send him back to “the baby maker.” Please, please for. the. love. keep up this good and humble service so I can continue to be glad I birthed him.
Sincerely, a mom of a newborn who passes more gas than 3 grown men combined.
I’d LOVE to hear some of your thank-yous! Leave them in the comments below. I’m sure I’ll be doing another one of these posts in the future and I will definitely include them.