My to do list is a mile long.
Porter needs a haircut.
Evan needs a dentist appointment.
We are out of milk.
I need to edit a photo session.
The kitchen floors are disgusting.
I have 13 paintings to do in the next few weeks.
What’s for dinner tonight?
I haven’t blogged since Monday.
When’s that last time we had a date night?
Can anyone relate???
Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about finding balance. I’ve mentioned that the last couple of weeks have been a bit stressful at our house. And being a mom, being a wife, being a HUMAN, working…balancing it all seems next to impossible most days. As soon as one aspect seems to be doing well, the other is falling apart.
I got the floors cleaned, but I yelled at the kids 5 times in the process.
I finished some paintings, but the house is a wreck.
I edited photos, but it was after the kids went to bed and cut into the only time of day I have with Jonathan.
See what I mean?
So basically I’ve decided that balance is a sham. There’s not going to be any one day where I do everything well. There’s just not.
Before I really embraced that notion, I was letting guilt and stress creep in.
“I’m a stay at home mom. My house should be clean. Dinner should be prepped. Laundry shouldn’t be piled up on top of the dryer. Beds should be made….right?”
But then I had to stop myself and say whoa lady! Yes, you are a stay at home mom, but you’re also a working mom. And you also have 2 small kids who make the simplest tasks impossible to do. And who told you all of these rules for what your life was supposed to be like?!
Honestly, I’ve got enough things on my plate on any given day, and there’s not enough room for guilt.
Life is meant to ebb and flow. And that applies to all of the things we do as moms. I’ve got to take the pressure and the expectation off of myself that I’m going to be able to fit in a million little things everyday and they are all going to be executed perfectly. There’s got to be a give and take.
This has been both an awesome realization and a hard one. Because I want to do ALL THE THINGS. But there’s just not enough time in the day. Or the week. Or the month. Or the next few years. I’m having to step back and assess what is really attainable for me in this season of my life. There are so many things I want to do, but that doesn’t mean I have to do them all right now. There’s no rush.
Right now I know God has called me to be a mom. That’s my most important job. And my hardest job. It’s especially hard right now with small kids I think. I know they won’t be this small or quite as demanding forever (and I know with bigger kids comes bigger problems). But right now there just isn’t enough time during the day to do all the things I want to do. The boys are at home all day most days. That’s just where we are at. And that’s a good thing. That’s an important thing that I need to invest my time in. It’s not getting in the way of all the other things I “need” to be doing. And it’s not an inconvenience. Yikes. I totally struggle with that skewed perspective some days, as ugly as it sounds to say out loud. I read a blog post a week or two ago that really helped open my eyes to this important job God has given me right now, and I know loving my kids is serving Him (click here to read that post).
I also know He has called me to use my creativity. God gives us all talents in different areas to use to bring Him glory. And so I want to fit that in. Even if it’s just on a small scale. I don’t have to sell a million paintings or have the most popular blog on the internet to be successful (although if you want to share this post with all of your friends I wouldn’t be sad about it 😉 haha).
Success is picking up the paint brush.
Success is writing and hitting publish.
There is no rush to look beyond that right now. He hasn’t called me to be famous. He’s called me to use my talents.
So what does living with this mindset look like?
It looks like some days I ignore social media and I’m not thinking about next week’s posts and I’m just focusing on enjoying time unplugged with my guys. And some days I stay up late writing and I’m just a little sleepy the next day. Some days I spend the entire day cleaning because nothing has gotten done all week and no one has clean underwear. Some days my hands are covered in paint while I rush to carpool to get the kids from school. It looks like real life. Give and take. Knowing there is freedom to not have to do everything all at once all the time, to take things as they come.
I don’t know where this notion came from that we have to manage a perfectly balanced life (I blame Pinterest). But it’s a lie.
The sooner we realize that the better.
Drop the guilt. Drop the pressure. Pray about and decide what’s important and what’s attainable for the season of life you’re currently in. Invest your time in those things, and know it’s ok that everyday (or any day) is not going to be perfect. Let the dishes stay in the sink. Take a day off from any extra work. Get a babysitter for the kids. It’s ok. I promise.
Can any of you relate to this?? I’m mostly processing what I’ve been learning out loud, and I know I don’t have all the answers. This is just where I’m at right now! I’d love to hear thoughts from some of you other mamas on what “balance” or lack thereof in your life looks like! Share your thoughts in the comments.